There are other thoughts and blog posts I have been crafting in longhand in a notebook that I thought would be posted by now. But. Summer has arrived and working at my desk on a computer seemed to be the very. very. very. last thing I want to do. Then. The devastating shooting in Orlando. It has all made me pause in my desire to write.
What can I do or say or write that can have any purpose or meaning worth sharing? But here I am, continuing with my writing as a way of making sense of my life. What can I do to keep from being defeated, but take joy in the little things and keep moving forward?
How? Just mix it all in together…
- Go tubing in our local Rapidan River with friends and kids? Yes.
- Write outside with coffee in hand as I enjoy a slow, no school morning? Of course.
- Join girls for morning cartoons and cereal in front of the tv, then writing a bit while they snuggle under blankets on the sofa? Yes!
- Create edible garden landscape along commercial building I manage? Why not.
- Invite my Sit & Stitch group over for tai chi, knitting, dinner, and sangria? A no brainer.
- Place a small public art memorial beside our Orange Post Office for the LBGT community? Yes.
- Pray with my mother and my girls at an interfaith service for those in Orlando? Yes.
- Set up a tent in the yard for girls intent on seeing fairies on Midsummer’s eve? This too I can manage.
Catching fireflies? Chasing frogs? Fairy offerings carefully crafted? Stuffed animals and flashlights and fairy books brought out to the tent? Full moon rising after dark?
It is not long past Midsummer’s Eve. The tent is not yet packed away. Sleeping bags and pads are still strewn across the dining room. It is not long past the terror that occurred in Orlando. But, somehow, I wanted to capture here the fleeting moments of pure childhood joy when my girls still believed in magic on this summer solstice just a week after I had to explain to them why I was weeping at the news from Orlando.
How do I help spread such joy, protect such wonder in the world and not cower and harden my heart from fear of the horrors that exist? The yin and yang of it all makes my heart ache.